All Systems Go

This is it. It’s the final level. It’s the main event.

I am currently in the last semester of my college life. We had our orientation on the course last Friday, and it was daunting at the least. All that we learned these past few years will be tested on the battleground of San Juan, Batangas.

There is a part of me that is afraid, yet there is also a part of me that is very excited.

Why am I afraid? I guess the thought of schoolwork really puts a damper on our immersion there. The load we’ll be doing looks sweet on paper, but is bitter on the field. The thought of doing all of those paperwork again intimidates me.

Why am I excited? There is a part of me that is wanderlust. The thought of experiencing new things is exciting for me. I also like the outdoors, so I’m really looking forward to the long treks we’ll be doing. I also like to see the new scenery, a change from the concrete jungle that we were used to meander in. I’m also excited at having three teammates during our immersion there. We’ll be doing all the housework for ourselves, so it will be a challenge for us how to make ends meet. The novelty of the experience, in short, makes me eager to go.

So, the question is, am I ready? My mother and I went out to buy things I’ll be needing for our two month immersion there, and I’m armed to the teeth. The only thing I really need to prepare now is myself. During our orientation, our professor remarked: “I will not be there as your teacher; I will be there as your colleague.” Besides sending the entire room into wide-eyed “ooohs”, it also sent us into a reflective reverie. We are this close to being professional nurses. We are, in effect, no longer students. We are professionals.

While I’ve had my share of complaining about my professors’ requirements, I have never once doubted their abilities. The best of the best, the ones we look up to, are now our colleagues. (I cannot get over this fact.) My professors have long been a kind of “crutch” that I have depended on; while I have broken down times too many due to their tutelage, I also felt safe. They would always be there to catch me if I fall. Now, we would own our decisions from here on. No more consulting to the prof if we’re in doubt. We do what we were trained to do.

The expectation of fear is greater than the fear itself, once said my roommate. As I look back at the challenges that I’ve faced through these years, I realize that though things were hard, I was able to pull through. And it has truly made me stronger.

So, am I still afraid? Yes, I still am. I might not be able to cook to save my life there. Kidding aside, while there is that fear within me, I choose to go on with this journey. I steer the ship of my life. Am I not the captain of my soul? It’s all systems go.

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5 Comments

  1. Took me a while to figure out how to find your blog, follow you, and comment. Hahaha. Newbieeee 🙂 OY BISITAHIN MO AKO SA MUZON!!! LESDOTHISSSS >:)<

    Reply
    • jian5

       /  November 13, 2011

      Hahahaha, masasanay ka rin! 🙂 Sure! Kapit-barangay lang naman tayo e, hahahaha :)) We can do thisssss!!!

      Reply
  2. Good luck! I can’t say that I’m not envious of you, but I won’t say “Sana pa-Batangas din ako this year,” instead let me say “I hope to do as well as you’re going to kapag time ko na. Go, friend!” 😀

    You will do great on this.

    Reply
  3. Good luck! I am excited for you people. 🙂

    Reply

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