Pariah

Misunderstood? Left out? Outcast? I’ve always wondered why people treated other people this way. When my parents bought me up, they gave me all the love in the world, and mind you, it wasn’t all too sweet. I’ve had my share of tongue lashings and whackings. I’ve danced the waltz with my enemies, did some foolish mistakes and lost those whom I’ve loved… and those who ever loved me.

When do you draw the line between genius and madness? How does one know that one’s not going insane… or is he? I’ve really tried to struggle with myself, to eliminate what’s wrong and enhance what’s right. And I’vedone it for as long as I can remember. And then I learned how to love others again, and they, in turn, loved me back. Then there comes a few who ruin it all, breaking the spirit of an already broken heart. A friend just called me earlier and asked for advice. I gave him what I could muster, and as I was speaking, I can’t help but say words of encouragement, words of hope. “You can do it!”,”You’re strong!”, “Be confident!”, “Be strong!”, “Keep fighting!” Isn’t it nice to hear such words of hope, of promise, of faith? I can’t really understand why humanity puts humanity down. For its own advantage… I guess.

“You can’t please everybody.”, the lesson of a famous story goes. And I guess I can’t really please everybody. I guess I’ll have to live and tango with my adversaries. I’ve read about great men who faced a lot of opposition before they succeeded. Everyone’s a hero, I need not mention names. They were all misunderstod, they were all treated like nobody’s, they were all hated… but they weren’t lost; they knew the way, they weren’t cowards; they possesed courage, they weren’t weird; they were unique, they weren’t fools nor madmen; they had genius. It hurts, yes, it really does. I wish the world could forgive me for all that I’ve done, all the stupid mistakes and all those follies and blunders. But no, the world won’t forgive me. At least He will… At least He will.

Be yourself. Wow… I’m confused. But is it because I am or is it because I think of it as such? Because when people begin to say “Just be yourself” to you, then there’s something wrong, then there’s something that needs to be done. And we begin to wonder what. Is it my looks? My personality? My attitude? My behavior? And then one changes himself only to be hurt again… And again… And again. No longer.

Misunderstood? Left out? Outcast? Even He was misunderstood, even He was treated unfairly. But He never gave up, to the last breath. A great Man, on that cross. Think about it. No servant’s greater than his Master after all…

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    For people who love to think.

    Jian Carlo R. Narag, MD

    2005-2017

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