Moments

My relatives keep arowanas in their offices. They say it brings good luck to its owner, especially those with businesses. Now, when I was young, I used to watch these great fishes swim gracefully around and around their large aquarium. Once, a cousin of mine brought goldfishes, those cute, little, fat ones that people keep as pets. “Wow.” I said, “Now they won’t be so lonely anymore!”. I quietly watched as my cousin dropped the cute goldfishes into the tank which would become their doom. I watched in horror as they were being eaten whole, one by one by the predators. Those cute little goldfishes, doomed to be bait to their mismatched foes.

From this story, I realized the fragile balance of our lives. We hang onto it by a thread. Some scientists state that a little change in the temperature would result to catastrohic consequences. Truly, our lives hang by the balance. We are at the mercy of what we are trying to control. Sure, we have technology, but even it cannot prevent the inevitable. What we have done will come back to us tenfold.

Humans are on top of the food chain. Or are we? We are like the little goldfishes at the mercy of those nimrods. All we can do against them is to plead for mercy, knowing that resistance is indeed, futile. And we, are at the feet of the One who is Supreme. We may curse Him and blame Him, but we have no chance against Him.

The Bible has many stories, especially in the Old Testament. The careful reader would observe that they weave out a familiar and reiterating pattern. Humanity sins, then it is punsihed, then it seeks forgiveness, then it is redeemed. Then it sins again. This cycle has happened many times over in human history. The promise of peace is as uncertain as the chaos of war. Nothing is truly permanent. Beauty’s fleeting, power’s dimishing, wealth’s temporary, life’s but a moment.

I sometimes wonder if God’s pissed off. I sometimes imagine Him saying: “I created you, I gave you the breath by which you live, I clothed you, I nourished you, I loved you, I gave My Life for you, and what do you give me? Lies, insults, empty promises and doubt.” I sometimes wonder why God still keeps us alive…

Until now, I ask for blessings from Him. I pray to Him, chat a little and then go back to society. And you know what? He never fails to answer my prayers. Not in what I hoped they’d be. He gave me different answers to different prayers. When I asked God for happiness, He gave me friends. When I asked Him for strength, some people began to spur me on, my will was fortified, and I was reassured of my abilities. When I asked Him for a passing mark in examinations, He gave me a good night’s rest to keep me at peace. When I asked for material blessings, He gave me the value of hard work and patience to acquire what I needed. When I asked Him for good weather, He gave me a thunderstorm to postpone my trip for another day. God works in mysterious and questionable ways. To understand what His intentions is like trying to comprehend the proverbial questions.

Once, when sadness overcame me, I felt an urge to pray, something I hadn’t done in a very long while. I went to church with a heavy burden, and when I came out, the storm within settled down. I just sat there in silence, contemplating on my faults, my regrets, my sins that bore holes in my heart. And slowly, I felt a kind of peace money can never buy, only for a moment, but for me, was the most wonderful feeling. I felt the void within slowly being filled… with what? Love. The kind that humans can never give.

Whenever I have a problem, I picture in my mind God, slowly giving me that warm embrace, that simple act of acceptance. Then I cry on His bosom, and with an understanding heart, He says to me: “My son, know that I will always, always love you.” And I cry some more, and He was just there for me. He speaks few words, yet His loving embrace is more than enough to satisfy this craving heart. And then, I slowly move away, back to the harsh realities of life. I yearn for many things, yet all I needed was a warm embrace. I seek success, yet all I needed was a moment of peace. I strive for the better, yet all I needed were words of reassurance, promise and hope rolled into one.

He has done many great works. And each of them echoes His eminence. Look around. Everything has its place in the world.

Advertisements
Previous Post
Next Post
Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

  • Calendar

    April 2006
    S M T W T F S
    « Mar   May »
     1
    2345678
    9101112131415
    16171819202122
    23242526272829
    30  
  • Archives

  • Categories

  • Oliman

    For people who love to think.

    Jian Carlo R. Narag, MD

    2005-2017

%d bloggers like this: